Saturday, May 17, 2014

Changes Are Hard

Hello Dear Friends,
This will be a short post today
Just some thoughts going through my head.
Why is change so hard for me. . 
I know I am not the only one to feel this way.
I am at the door of a major life change.
I knew this day would come, but then again
Never realized how fast it would be here.
I am going to be retiring. . . 
I am 66 years old and I have had it. . 
I can't do it anymore.
I know I have shared with you my recent surgery.
Rotator Cuff tear. . .it has been a beast.
I will never be the same.
But aside form that. . . the simple fact is
I am Done!
All I ever wanted in life was to be a wife and mom
I had the wonderful opportunity of being both.
But my life as a wife was cut short with the death of my
Young 48 year husband.
I was not prepared for such a life altering event.
Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically, Temporally.
I have bounced from job to job. . .never getting
The job that would help my retirement.
Well, Retirement has come. . and I am not ready for it.
I know I have a lot of changes coming my way.
And one thing will probably be moving.
I love living in my little condo.
It is the first time I have felt "Home" since I left my home
I had with my husband and children.
Why, oh Why is it so hard to leave. . to change.
Where am I going I don't know.
I will hang on as long as I can, but the reality is I can't afford to live here.
Yes, there are worse things that could be happening to me.
Believe me I know that, I have been through them.
But I love HOME
There really is no place like HOME
Oh, I will be ok. . .I just have a heavy heart tonight.
Reality is setting in.
I am sure I will find another place to call home.
And I will be able to fuss and fiddle in that place
But for now my life's path is so uncertain.